Insecure attachment

My work as a couples (relationship) therapist is grounded in attachment theory. It is one of the most well-researched concepts in contemporary psychology, which explains the innate tendency of human beings – and other mammals – to bond with others, and to seek proximity and caregiving from a preferred individual (attachment figure). From its inception in the 1940s, attachment theory marked a significant divergence from the conceptualization of human affiliative behaviors at the time – the psychoanalytic theories of Freud and the object relation theorists such as Winnicott and Klein. Its originator, the British psychiatrist John Bowlby, gradually constructed his theory out of his academic training in psychiatry and psychoanalysis, as well his clinical experience.

Attachment is also the key focus of my research. I am particularly interested in attachment insecurity, and how it impacts mental health and outcomes in various forms of adult romantic relationships.

What is attachment insecurity? To understand that, we have to look at the function of the attachment system.

Attachment system activates whenever we perceive threat, which could be physical, like an injury or illness, intrapersonal, for example, experiencing failure or defeat, or interpersonal, such as perceiving the partner as no longer attentive or interested in the relationship. Once the attachment system is activated, attachment-related thoughts, feelings, and behaviors become instantly available, prompting actions directed at establishing contact with the attachment figure. This is the primary attachment strategy. As adults, we can establish contact with our attachment figure by evoking memories or internal representations of them, without actual physical proximity. Once proximity to an attachment figure is established, our attachment system deactivates, and we experience a regained sense of safety and comfort, known as safe haven. However, if the attachment figure is unavailable or unresponsive, this primary strategy becomes inadequate. Instead, we activate one of two secondary attachment strategies: (a) hyperactivation of the primary strategy, in case of the anxious attachment pattern, (b) deactivation of the attachment system, in case of the avoidant pattern, or (c) distancing while experiencing separation anxiety and distress, in case of fearful avoidant/disorganized attachment pattern. In short, repeated negative experiences with attachment figures and unsuccessful primary strategy attempts lead to attachment insecurity.

Insecure attachment is robustly correlated with negative mental health outcomes. A recent meta-analysis of 224 studies by Zhang, et al. (2022) found that insecure attachment was associated with depression (r = .28 for attachment anxiety and r = .40 for avoidance), anxiety (r = .24 and r = .39, for attachment anxiety and avoidance, respectively), loneliness (r = .46 for attachment anxiety and r = .44 for avoidance), negative affect (r = .34 for attachment anxiety and r = .21 for avoidance), and emotional regulation difficulty (r = .51 and r = .29, for attachment anxiety and avoidance, respectively).

We know that insecure attachment is also correlated with lower relationship satisfaction. How exactly does that work, and what are the important differences between the two dimensions of insecurity (anxiety and avoidance)? More on that to follow.

More on how attachment anxiety and avoidance work, and their implications on relationships, to follow.